Fighting Back

“…the fact that a woman still isn’t safe whether it’s in New Delhi, Johannesburg, London or the Bronx reminds that me that for all our female bravura at embracing martial sports, the fact remains that there is always some part of what we do that is informed by our need for self-defense.”
    -girlboxing in “Of Endings and Beginnings”

I used to have a recurring dream where I was being attacked and I couldn’t fight back or scream.  When I started boxing that dream stopped.  Many people men and women alike take up boxing or other martial arts to learn how to protect themselves.  But for women the threat of sexual violence adds another dimension to that desire to protect oneself.  It has been awful to hear about the horrific gang rape of an Indian medical student in Delhi that provoked national protest in India only to have several additional incidents that were equally disturbing occur in the last week.  The image of a 40-year-old mother of four hanging by her sari from a mango tree after being gang raped struck an incredible nerve for me.  Yet what’s most disturbing about these incidents is that it is only now in 2012 that violence against women commands such a public outcry in India.  In an Op-ed piece in the New York Times, Sohaila Abdullahi, who was brutally gang-raped herself in India 0ver 30 years ago only to have no charges brought against her perpetrators, passionately describes the paradox of violence against women in India.  She reveals:

“The week after I was attacked, I heard the story of a woman who was raped in a nearby suburb. She came home, went into the kitchen, set herself on fire and died. The person who told me the story was full of admiration for her selflessness in preserving her husband’s honor. Thanks to my parents, I never did understand this.”

The idea that a women should be selfless in preserving her husband’s honor by lighting herself on fire after being attacked is a mindset that seems so ancient and outrageous, yet it still dictates how women are treated on many levels in Indian Society.  According to the New York Times it is estimated that: “25,000 to 100,000 women a year are killed over dowry disputes. Many are burned alive in a particularly grisly form of retribution.”
And yet women are fighting back, have always fought back…

I am fortunate to have an Indian mother whose feisty nature and incredible athleticism remind me that Indian women grow up strong when they are supported.  Sohaila with a supportive family behind her and a father who kicked the police out of their house when they insinuated that Sohaila might have been partially responsible for the rape, moved to the US where she completed her master’s degree and is an accomplished novelist.  She celebrates surviving:
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“Life rewarded me richly for surviving. I stumbled home, wounded and traumatized, to a fabulous family. With them on my side, so much came my way. I found true love. I wrote books. I saw a kangaroo in the wild. I caught buses and missed trains. I had a shining child. The century changed. My first gray hair appeared.”
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In a story a bit closer to home here in Germany, another woman, Rola El Halabi, fought back, has been fighting back ever since she was shot in the hands, knee and feet by her stepfather and former boxing manager just as she was set to enter the ring for a world title fight in April 2011.   She was confined to a wheelchair for some time.   It was obvious the intention of her stepfather was to end her boxing career based on where he shot her.  Yet, this past weekend, she launched her comeback in a successful boxing show that she also promoted attended by 5,000 fans eager to support her.  She did not win the fight against the tough, top-ranked Italian Lucia Morelli, but as she said after the fight, “I lost the fight, but I gained so much and I am happy. I’m back in my life!”  It was a spirited 10 round fight , but the shorter more aggressive, Morelli, was able to edge out El Halabi in a close majority decision (Click here to view fight). Showing her grit, integrity and determination, she went on further to say, “I was having a hard time finding my distance and it took me two or three rounds too long to find it, but I didn’t want to return against an easy opponent. I wanted to fight someone as tough as Lucia. I wanted an honest fight, and I lost honestly. That’s the way sports should be!”   I am certain this is only the beginning of a new start for Rola and the number of people, this Lebanese born fighter inspired by fighting back is far more important than a “W” on her record.  Rumble, Young Girl, Rumble!